Congratulations on your marriage! I don’t find your way of thinking morbid at all; An important event in life naturally pushes us to look to the future.

Your question combines two separate issues: What will happen to your body after you die, and what will your surviving loved ones do to remember you? Because they will remember you, you understand that, right? Funerals and memorial services may not be meaningful to you, but they are likely meaningful to the vast majority of people, including the people who love you very much. If you really don’t want to be a burden to your grieving friends and family, don’t force them to produce and stage manage a show without guidance. When people don’t know what their loved ones want, it is experienced as a stressful experience, not a liberating one. People want to do the right thing, and shrugging their shoulders and saying “whatever” doesn’t help them. It feels like we’re hitting on them.

(And frankly: What if you don’t like fanfare? You won’t have to put up with it.)

When it comes to your body, if you don’t really care about its final state and your family does (have a family plan or something like that), then logically their wishes should prevail. But if you have a really strong desire to donate your body, definitely do it. My mother donated her body to science, and I was immeasurably proud and grateful for that. This really saved us a significant expense and, more importantly, was the ultimate expression of his effort to help the people around him and be helpful in any way he could. It’s been seven years and I still get emotional when I think about it. He always had the ability to make a good first impression and an even better last impression.

My mother also had the sad luxury of dying after a forward fall in which she could tell us the things she wanted us to know to shape how we will remember her. You may not have this privilege: Death catches some of us early and by surprise. So write at least a few thoughts on paper. If there are pictures you want them to see, a song you want them to hear, a thought you want them to take with you – and how could this not happen – write it down.

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Ms. Behavior is Robin Abrahams, an author with a doctorate in psychology.