Before you ask, no, this isn’t a PSA about how the Harvard administration suddenly hosted a school-sponsored “safe” Halloween this year. It’s much more important than that.

It seems that as we lounge in our ivory towers and twin XLs at this small liberal arts institution just outside of Boston, we often lose touch with our inner child. Remember the days of galavanting out with friends during recess, shopping for lunch, and living for life’s simple pleasures? Most of the time we get stuck trying to be an “adult” and forget those moments. Instead of focusing on securing Bain’s comeback offer (or partying in the Holworthy basement for a Halloween weekend’s “crazy light movie”), feed your sweet tooth, live life on the wild side, and explore the world around you!

In an attempt to feed that inner child, I went trick-or-treating last week. In my Where’s Waldo costume (bracing myself for comments of “I found you” and “Where are you?”) I was ready to embark on this spooky adventure. Joined by my trusty sidekicks consisting of a giant inflatable pink shark, a gingerbread lady, and a cowgirl, I set out with my own Harvard University Costume Gang (known to all my friends as HCCG) and dedicated ourselves to reviving the art of living Halloween in our country. campus. Our mission: To discover our peers’ readiness for the holidays we grew up loving and participating in.

But before we could brave the rugged terrain along the Charles, our journey began at 14 Plympton – the headquarters of The Crimson – where we planned our journey like a covert operation. Each residential neighborhood has its perks: I briefly considered heading to Q-Block (you may also know it as the Four), rumored to be the home of the hard-to-find king-size candy bar, but I quickly ruled it out for the sake of my sanity. It was too far. As for Lowell, Adams, and Quincy, they are already blessed with their “perfect” location in the middle of campus and hot breakfasts, so I figured they already had enough – the other houses need to be visited by students. Halloween spirit.

So what’s left? River Houses: Where the views are beautiful and the residents are generally happy enough to provide trick-or-treating with more than a bag of raisins (spoiler alert… they follow the line). From Mather’s concrete blocks to Eliot’s cheeriness, we set our sights on the riverside route that appealed to my sugar-craving heart. After all, with great riverside real estate comes great responsibility for serving top-notch treats (and maybe even a good trick or two).

The Crimson’s president gave us… peanut butter? Written by: Elyse C. Goncalves

Stop 1: Red Terriers

To begin our search, we knocked on the door of our fearless leader, J. Sellers Hill ’25. They say don’t get high on your own supply, but I disagree. Our president, ever the symbol of Red courage, greeted us with a singular jar of peanut butter with multiple spoons sticking out of it. Obviously, he doesn’t leave HQ much, but was this probably his way of mustering energy to deal with our News staff late one more night, or an elaborate cry for help? Either way, it made me wonder if our adventure would be just as dubious. Undeterred, I gathered up my sugar-craving companions and headed out into the night, ready for chaos, sugar, and perhaps a few options we’d definitely reconsider in the morning.

Mather handed me a clementine, which wasn’t technically a box of raisins. Written by: Elyse C. Goncalves

Stop 2: The Ghost of Mather Lather?!?

As I approached the haunted concrete castle of Mather House, I was frankly terrified. The stairwell seemed to be trying to hypnotize me to sleep, and I knew from the very beginning that I was facing a haunted house. As I passed through the haunted gate, an ominous drumbeat echoed from somewhere inside (perhaps from JCR, some particularly sacred place), pulling me deeper, growing louder with each step, until I finally reached my first gate… and suddenly the sound was cut off.

I knocked on the door and a senior lad came out; He was visibly surprised to find a trick-or-treater on his doorstep. Clearly the Halloween spirit had not yet reached Mather. However, with some motivation, he embraced this blessed opportunity and gifted me a beautiful, albeit worn, Dhall Clementine. Classic Mather – always at the forefront of embracing health (though thankfully not at the raisin box level). After picking up the spherical object (is it still considered a fruit?) I heard the drums beating again, but as I turned to leave, a neighboring student opened his door and I quickly landed on his doorstep. As I offered me a handful of red fireball candies, he took a handful in return from my cauldron (without even asking?!?!). Whether he was celebrating Halloween or had a serious case of binge eating, I’ll never know.

I headed off to Dunster, the red-domed haunted house where I was sure to endure a series of pun marathons that would haunt me well beyond Halloween.

The editor who uploaded this image also gave Wyatt some oatmeal. Written by: Elyse C. Goncalves

Stop 3: Sneaky Dunster (I definitely didn’t get lost… blinking)

For starters, I would really appreciate some signage on this building. I couldn’t figure out where the dorms were (bad meese). For reasons beyond my control, I can only say that I had plenty of apple-cinnamon oatmeal at Dunster. The next morning for breakfast I put it in the microwave and let me tell you, it was wonderful. While it may not be your typical Halloween purchase, at least Dunster’s commitment to fiber is second to none.

More respect should be given to Dunster – of course it was remote and yes, I got lost somewhere among its great arches, but I emerged with a little extra pep in my step, courtesy of a mysterious liquid dimly presented to me. It lit up the dormitory. Who knew getting lost could be so…hydrating? I was then called to go to the eyesore I knew as Leverett.

Stop 4: Lev (but is he dead?)

I headed across the street to Leverett Tower G, looming on the horizon. Undeterred, I knocked on five different doors, each time being blown away by the advanced doorbell technology; It was like I was watching my grandmother struggle with her iPhone. However, despite my efforts, no one responded.

Leverett left a candy bar-sized hole in my heart that no Halloween spirit could fill. They are officially HE neighbor – the person who leaves his porch light off and doesn’t even put out a bowl of candy. Just the faint scent of darkness, emptiness and disappointment.

Leverett, you’re on thin ice: first bushes that are impossible to jump into, and now this. I’m starting to get bored of you.

Stop 5: Winthrop (Nightmare on Mill St.)

Then I went to Winthrop, which with its sterile hospital atmosphere could double as a horror movie set. Still, the locals were surprisingly gracious to a wandering trick-or-treater like me.

They gifted me not only a handful of Jolly Ranchers, but also a whole pumpkin. Yes, a whole pumpkin; a gift that feels almost diplomatic. Let’s just say I’ll politely ignore it, matchless the aroma of the dhal as a testament to their good intentions.

Thank you Winthrop for this intriguing Halloween experience.

Stop 6: Eliot (The Last Glove)

Finally, I went to Eliot House, the domus, the feast of elite bougie. I prepared for elegance and mystery by knocking on the doors of three dormitories in search of treats. Maybe a decadent candy bowl. Instead, the first door opened to reveal… a suite full of tricks.

To one side, my roommate was doing push-ups relentlessly, pumping up his regular 11pm nightly pump. But just as I regained my composure, the other resident—dark and shadowed by the dim stairwell light—looked me in the eye and said hit me with a stick. One drop. Did he haunt and freeze these halls with his outdated moves in 2016? Will I be able to recover from this financially?

Bracing myself for more tricks, I stumbled back, ghostly and spiritually adrift. But then the Halloween gods took pity on me: an oversized bag of M&Ms and a single peanut butter cup appeared at the next door I went to. With that, the weird dab spell has lifted and my Halloween quest is final trophy – king size – complete.

Eliot answered my call for help, ending my night perfectly.

A Halloween Afterlife (Sugar, Chaos, and Questionable Life Choices)

So this Halloween, honor the legacy John Harvard would have wanted for his institution! Don’t let October 31 pass by like every other Thirsty Thursday (the 12-pack of Tweas will always be there) – embrace it in the spirit of those who built it sacred organisation. Put on your wildest costume, gather a group of friends, knock on doors with unapologetic enthusiasm, and stock up on the candy your education depends on.

Halloween is more than a holiday; This is a call to reconnect with your inner child and enjoy the spooky, the silly, and the sweet. Move forward and walk around with pride!