CINCINNATI — As a military spouse, the thought of losing your partner can be daunting and overwhelming. But Gail Joyce, chair of the Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) Surviving Spouse Advisory Council, emphasizes the importance of being prepared for the unthinkable.

Through her studies and personal experiences, Joyce has gained insights that she hopes to share with other military spouses.

“I talk to many military branches in the United States, and I find that people think they are prepared, they think they are organized, they think they know what they need to do,” Joyce said. “In reality, that doesn’t happen most of the time.”

This disconnect between perceived preparedness and the reality of dealing with the complexities that arise after the death of a loved one is a common theme that Joyce encountered.

One of the primary reasons she advocates for educational seminars like the one hosted by the Cincinnati MOAA chapter is to provide military spouses with the information and resources necessary to navigate this difficult journey.

“We try to give them the resources and tools they need, so they can find the right way to do something or get their questions answered,” he said.

Joyce highlighted the problem that for military members receiving VA benefits, the final month’s pay is withheld immediately after the military member’s death.

“Last month’s pay is immediately deducted – I mean immediately – and if it is not deducted the survivor is expected to pay that money back,” he said.

This can be especially challenging for families dealing with expenses related to funerals and other end-of-life arrangements. Joyce is currently working with Congress to address these issues and is advocating for legislation that would give surviving spouses more time to pay back the last month’s wages or, ideally, eliminate this requirement.

“We are currently trying to pass a bill through Congress that would give the survivor time to at least repay the money and perhaps pay it back in installments, rather than getting the money back in full, or better yet, not getting it back at all,” he said.

This is one of the many things that military spouses may not be aware of as they navigate life after loss.

Joyce shared the example of a friend whose husband’s funeral at Arlington National Cemetery was not scheduled until December, several months after his death in May.

“This happened as quickly as he had planned, and that is now the widespread expectation for someone to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery,” he said.

The personal anxiety and lack of closure that can come with these long waiting periods are additional burdens that surviving spouses must overcome.

To help military spouses better prepare for these challenges, Joyce and the Surviving Spouse Advisory Council have developed a new publication that guides them through establishing a trust, writing a will, and other important steps.

“This is a great publication,” Joyce said. “This is something we will distribute at this seminar as well.”

He is one of many speakers at the upcoming Military Retiree, Veteran, Spouse and Surviving Spouse seminar hosted by the Greater Cincinnati MOAA Chapter. Many topics are on the agenda, including Advance Planning, Estate Planning, VA Benefits, Survivor Affairs, TRICARE, Long-Term Care Planning, VA Assistance and Continuation Retirement, and more.

The seminar is scheduled for Friday, November 1, at 9:30 a.m. at the American Red Cross building, 2111 Dana Avenue, Cincinnati, OH. To register, visit: Greater Cincinnati MOAA website.

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