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Even Wile E. Coyote Couldn’t Find a Way to Do What the Bears Did
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Even Wile E. Coyote Couldn’t Find a Way to Do What the Bears Did

Bears don’t seem to do well with special situations.

If you give them first and 10, second and 5 near midfield, something like that, they’re golden.

All kinds of sad comedy can ensue when you put the ball on the goal line. They can throw the ball sideways or backwards, resulting in a 12-yard loss on fourth-and-goal, as happened in Indianapolis. On Sunday, they borrowed a page from the Mike Ditka era, led by William Perry-style center Doug Kramer, and it blew up in their faces.

It was like giving Wile E. Coyote a case of dynamite without the explosives. Somehow, you knew this was still going to go on with a bang, and it did. As the ball passed from the arms of one former Illini player to the arms of another former Illini player, Kramer threw the ball to Johnny Newton. Imagine this.

In fact, Wile E. could never have imagined something as absurd as the play that Shane Waldron ordered at that critical point in the game.

Other teams push when they need a yard. The bears are just kicking themselves.

But on Sunday, their usually reliable defense showed that with the game on the line and just a prayer of luck for the offense, a special situation might also be necessary and they could at least negate one of the boldest comebacks since the season opener. .

So how did Elijah Hicks, Josh Blackwell, Jaylon Jones and Kevin Byard combine on the ball for a Hail Mary pass at the 3-yard line, Jaylon Johnson and Tremaine Edmunds were able to take out Terry McLaurin near the 10, and what could Tyrique Stevenson be doing?

He was taunting the fans when the game started and the receivers were already 25 yards downfield. This situation was recorded on video by citizens who came to the match.

The Bears definitely managed to screw it up. No one was near Noah Brown when he caught the deflected pass in the hole in front of the goal line.

Kevin Byard was the closest person to him, but it’s not entirely clear that he should have been the one guarding Brown.

Possibly Edmunds. Eberflus initially said the person who was with McLaurin around 10 a.m. might have been the person who was supposed to get the tip in the end zone, but he did not say who it was.

“I need to take a look at it,” Eberflus told reporters.

It makes sense for Edmunds to be there as a guy who’s 6-foot-4 and has long arms, but it makes sense for him not to be at the 10-yard line. This is where you let a guy grab it and then take over the receiver. Game over.

The Edmunds in the pit where everyone was jumping made sense too. A guy who is 6-5 and has long arms has a better chance of catching him or keeping someone taller from being taken down than a 5-11 DB like Hicks, Jones, Blackwell and Byard. And a 6-5 player with long arms makes more sense at back because there’s no way Brown can catch him with such a big defense.

So what about the passing offense in the game? They could have gotten out their bud cutters and nipped it all in the bud before this cow tragedy occurred. There were three defenders trying to go after Jayden Houdini Daniels in slow motion, and he ran away. Some teams attack the passer on the final play and you can forget about getting rid of the Hail Mary.

TYRIQUE STEVENSON APOLOGIES FOR HIS BEHAVIOR ON HAIL MARY PASS

“There’s no doubt,” Eberflus said. “I’ve seen people do that. You know, we have that too, but you know, we chose to do the three-man dash again. I think he did it for over 12 seconds.”

As for using a linebacker to navigate the running back near the line?

“You know, TJ also contributes a little bit there (on rushing) because he has a running back,” Eberflus said.

But he was taking his time, and Daniels wasn’t going to throw it to the running back. If he did, the game would end at a point where he was captured. So who cared about the running back? An extra DB towards help would be nice.

Even the lead up to the Hail Mary looked terrible.

They all played around the receivers and dropped back and allowed Daniels to complete a 13-yard completion to McLaurin and were far enough away from him that they went out of bounds 13 yards later. If they just beat him downfield, there was no way the Commanders were going to get another shutout because there were two seconds left. They did not call a timeout as they used it after the previous play on a reception by Zach Ertz. They couldn’t get to the line and touch down before putting the ball downfield. Align the DB along the edge to hug it and prevent this. Game over.

So all they had to do was put the players on the sideline to prevent them from stopping the clock.

“You’re defending the goal there and it doesn’t really matter if they kick the ball from 13 yards or 10 yards,” Eberflus said.

It matters because it puts them in range to throw the Hail Mary on the next play and allows them to stop the clock to do so. If McLaurin caught it and headed upfield, it was game over when he was tackled.

If they fail to complete it, it’s an incompletion for McLaurin, which means a 65-yard Hail Mary. He doesn’t have that kind of arm unless anyone rushes him and lets him throw. Nobody does. They were at their 35 at the line of scrimmage, so his pass would have been about 68 yards from there with six seconds left.

So, what are the chances of winning the ball with 35 and six seconds left?

All this nonsense hides the zero points they scored on their drive to the 1-yard line early in the fourth quarter. That’s when Wile E., aka Waldron, their offensive coordinator, chose to be the super genius and give it to the center, Kramer, who was a shortstop.

Of course he stumbled. The odds of that happening were much higher than the odds of the Commanders winning the possession with 35 and under seconds left. In fact, they were probably close to the money.

“And I know there will be a lot of questions about Doug Kramer’s play,” Eberflus said.

Yes, do you think so?

They were playing with an offensive line that was so beat up in the game that they were going to put Kramer on defense after he moved into the end zone because they didn’t have enough guards. Teven Jenkins was injured, Bill Murray was injured. Nate Davis was not in uniform.

So, behind this line, they give the ball to their third center, who is not actually a guard, he will be a guard, but now he starts running back? Wait, what?

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

My head exploded.

Thank you Wile E.

Thank you very much, Bears.

Twitter: BearsOnSi